Publicado: 02-11-2013 02:12 PM
If possible, I want my brain preserved for science/research to study the effects of severe depression on an individual's brain. Since 6/26/08 when I was relieved of duty and 1/2/09 when I was terminated I have been afflicted with severe depression. I've had two CT scans during my lifetime that are in my medical record at Kaiser Permanente. Both are from concussions resulting from playing football. The first one was in high school, 10/96. The second was in college and occurred in 10/99. Both were conducted at Kaiser Permanente hospitals in LA/Orange county. These two CT scans should give a good baseline for my brain activity before severe depression began in late 2008.
Sure, many of you "law enforcement experts and specialist" will state, "in all my years this is the worst........", Stop!!! That’s not important. Ask yourselves what would cause somebody to take these drastic measures like I did. That's what is important.
To my friends listed below, I wish we could have grown old together and spent more time together. When you reminisce of our friendship and experiences, think of that and that only. Do not dwell on my recent actions the last few days. This was a necessary evil that had to be executed in order for me to obtain my NAME back. The only thing that changes policy and garners attention is death.
Luis Sanchez, greatest friend, Marine officer, aviator, and an even better father and husband. I Couldn't have had a better big brother than you. Your spoken wisdom was always retained by me, you old salty Mustang. You sternly told me that no matter what I accomplish I will always be a ni#%er in many individuals eyes. At the time, I did not comprehend your words. I do now. I never forgot the quote you state below. I love you bro.
I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever feeling sorry for itself. –D.H. Lawrence
Jason Valadao, greatest friend, Naval officer, aviator, Great Father, husband, doctor, and even better human being. I always strived to live my life parallel to your similar values and personal disciplines. Danika is lucky to have found a man like yourself, and you are fortunate to have married an irrefutable imperfect woman. Always focus on your IMMEDIATE family as they are the ones who have loved you unconditionally and always been their to support you in difficult times. I always lived my life as WWJD (what would Jason do). Danika, take care of this guy. Jason, I’m sorry I missed your wedding and you had to find another best man. I’m sorry my predicament with the department stopped me from watching you and Danika get married and arguing with you about issues that were insignificant when I was really angry at the LAPD for what they did to me. I’m deeply sorry and I love you guys.
James Usera, great friend, attorney, father, husband, and the most cynical/blatant/politically incorrect friend a man can have. Best quality about you in college and now is that you never sugar coated the truth. I will miss our political discussions that always turned argumentative. Thanks for introducing me to outdoor sports like fishing, hunting, mudding, and also respect for the land and resources. Us city boys don’t get out much like you Alaskans. You even introduced me to PBR. A beer, that when you’re a poor college student is completely acceptable to get buzzed off of. I’m sorry I’ll never get to go on that moose and bear hunt with you. I love you bro.
Kinta Smith, greatest friend, accountant, entrepreneur, and even better Human being. You are probably the most well balanced person I've ever met and the most driven for success. In college, and after graduation, I was inspired by your personal drive. Never settle. When you make your first million, promise me you won’t forget to enjoy it a bit. I know your first reaction will be to invest it somewhere else. Spend a little, just a little. I love you bro.
Jason Young, great friend, entrepeneur, husband and father. You showed me the importance of fatherhood and friendship. Love you bro.
Suzie Clark Cunningham, Kassandra Harrell, Melinda Yates, Cal Jackson, Ryan Smith, The Rebelledos, The Banks, Ben Bines, J. Work, Bill O’neill, Jeremy Fletcher, and Rob Harriston.
You guys were all important and very special to me. Don’t be angry with me. I missed some of your weddings and unfortunately, some of your funerals. This was a necessary evil.
Some say it is my fault that I was terminated. Yes, DDX, I remember you stating this to me in an angry fit. You said that I should have kept my mouth shut about another officer’s misconduct. Maybe you were right. But I'm not built like others, it's not in my DNA and my history has always shown that. When you view the video of the suspect stating he was kicked by Evans, maybe you will see that I was a decent person after all. I told the truth. It still hurt that you abandoned me in my time of need. I hope you’re happy, that’s all I ever wanted for you.
Publicado: 02-11-2013 02:14 PM
Sgt. Leonard Perez, you meant well but you should have known with your time on the job that the department would attempt to protect someone like Evans because of her time on the job, personal friendships, and ethicity. I’m not angry with you, but you should have known as an IA investigator.
Sgt Maggie Faust LPPD, Ofcr John Thomas LPPD (ret), and Chief Eric Nunez LPPD, your guidance and mentoring as a young police explorer was second to none and invaluable as a young man, police officer, and naval officer. Sgt Faust, you forewarned me long ago about joining LAPD as they were "different" and operated differently from other modern law enforcement agencies. I now know it was your humbleness and respect for all who wear the badge and protect their communities that you didn't just express what you wanted to say, that they lack values and basic ethics as law enforcement officers. Chief Nunez, your ****ing awesome. Thanks for the long talks over the years when I was an explorer, college student, Naval officer, and Police officer. Your are a great leader and carry your heart on your sleeve. Your son will be a great Air Force officer with the upringing you provided. John, what can I say? Your just an awesome person and my first exposure to what law enforcement was really about was on our ride alongs. Your realistic approach and empathetic approach to treating all people as humans first is something I carried with me daily. Thank you, every one of you.
Dr. Funahashi, thank you for the superb surgery you performed on my knee on 7/98 in Irvine, CA. I never had the opportunity to thank you for allowing me to live a life free of knee joint pain. Thank you.
CM1 Bissett (Ret.), I learned more from you about leadership than most of my own commanders. You lived by a strict ethos of get it done, and get it done right. I wanted to attend your retirement, I really did. But because of my predicament I was unable to. Hope you and Ritchie are still together. I’ve always held you in high regard.
Sgt Maj. Kenneth "Rock" Rocquemore **noallow**, Thank you for the intense instruction and mentorship and time spent forging me into a never quit officer. You were challenging as a DI. You made sure the vicious and intense personality I possess was discovered. On a lighter note....Don't feel humbled you never broke me. I made it a personal goal to never give up years before. The Corp is lucky to have you at the front. Your leadership is essential and needed for all marines, especially staff NCO's and mentorship and advisement to company grade officers. You are the epitome of a US marine and never forget that.
I thank my friends for the awesome shared experiences. I thank the unnamed women I dated over my lifetime for the great and sometimes not so great **noallow**.
It’s kind of sad I won't be around to view and enjoy The Hangover III. What an awesome trilogy. Todd Phillips, don't make anymore Hangovers after the third, takes away the originality of its foundation. World War Z looks good and The Walking Dead season 3 (second half) looked intriguing. Damn, gonna miss shark week.
Mr. Vice President, do your due diligence when formulating a concise and permanent national AWB plan. Future generations of Americans depend on your plan and advisement to the president. I’ve always been a fan of yours and consider you one of the few genuine and charismatic politicians. Damn, sounds like an oxymoron calling you an honest politician. It’s the truth.
Hillary Clinton. You'll make one hell of a president in 2016. Much like your husband, Bill, you will be one of the greatest. Look at Castro in San Antonio as a running mate or possible secretary of state. He's (good people) and I have faith and confidence in him. Look after Bill. He was always my favorite President. Chelsea grew up to be one hell of an attractive woman. No disrespect to her husband.
Gov. Chris Christie. What can I say? You’re the only person I would like to see in the White House in 2016 other than Hillary. You're America's no *beep* taking uncle. Do one thing for your wife, kids, and supporters. Start walking at night and eat a little less, not a lot less, just a little. We want to see you around for a long time. Your leadership is greatly needed.
Wayne LaPierre, President of the NRA, you're a vile and inhumane piece of *beep*. You never even showed 30 seconds of empathy for the children, teachers, and families of Sandy Hook. You deflected any type of blame/responsibility and directed it toward the influence of movies and the media. You are a failure of a human being. May all of your immediate and distant family die horrific deaths in front of you.
Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Pat Harvey, Brian Williams, Soledad Obrien, Wolf Blitzer, Meredith Viera, Tavis Smiley, and Anderson Cooper, keep up the great work and follow Cronkite's lead. I hold many of you in the same regard as Tom Brokaw and the late Peter Jennings. Cooper, stop nagging and berating your guest, they're your (guest). Mr. Scarborough, we met at McGuire’s pub in P-cola in 2002 when I was stationed there. It was an honor conversing with you about politics, family, and life.
Publicado: 02-11-2013 02:15 PM
Willie Geist, you’re a talented and charismatic journalist. Stop with all the talk show shenanigans and get back to your core of reporting. Your future is brighter than most.
Revoke the citizenship of Fareed Zakaria and deport him. I've never heard a positive word about America or its interest from his mouth, ever. On the same day, give Piers Morgan an indefinite resident alien and Visa card. Mr. Morgan, the problem that many American gun owners have with you and your continuous discussion of gun control is that you are not an American citizen and have an accent that is distinct and clarifies that you are a foreigner. I want you to know that I agree with you 100% on enacting stricter firearm laws but you must understand that your critics will always have in the back of their mind that you are native to a country that we won our sovereignty from while using firearms as a last resort in defense and you come from a country that has no legal private ownership of firearms. That is disheartening to American gun owners and rightfully so.
The honorable President George H.W. Bush, they never give you enough credit for your successful Presidency. You were always one of my favorite Presidents (2nd favorite). I hope your health improves greatly. You are the epitome of an American and service to country.
General Petraeus, you made a mistake that the majority of men make once, twice, or unfortunately many times in a lifetime. You are human. You thought with your penis. It's okay.I personally believe you should have never resigned and told your critics to shove it. You only answer to two people regarding the affair, your wife and children, period. I hope you return to government service to your country as it is visibly in your DNA.
General Colin Powell, your book “My American Journey” solidified my decision to join the military after college. I had always intended to serve, but your book and journey motivated me. You are an inspiration to all Americans and influenced me greatly.
To all SEA's (senior enlisted advisers), you are just as important if not a greater viability to large and small commands. It's time you take a more active role in leading your enlisted and advising officers. These are not your twilight years or time to relax. You can either strengthen the tip of the spear, or make it brittle. You decide.
Pat Harvey, I’ve always thought you carried yourself professionally and personally the way a strong black woman should. Your articulation and speech is second to none. You are the epitome of a journalist/anchor. You are America.
Ellen Degeneres, continue your excellent contribution to entertaining America and bringing the human factor to entertainment. You changed the perception of your gay community and how we as Americans view the LGBT community. I congratulate you on your success and opening my eyes as a young adult, and my generation to the fact that you are know different from us other than who you choose to love. Oh, and you Prop 8 supporters, why the **** do you care who your neighbor marries. Hypocritical pieces of *beep*.
Westboro Baptist Church, may you all burn slowly in a fire, not from smoke inhalation, but from the flames and only the flames.
Tebow, I really wanted to see you take charge of an offense again and the game. You are not a good QB by todays standards, but you are a great football player who knows how to lead a team and WIN. You will be "Tebowing" when you reach your next team. I have faith in you. Get out of that circus they call the Jets and away from the reality TV star, Rex Ryan, and Mark Rapist Sanchez.
Christopher Walz, you impressed me in Inglorious Basterds. After viewing Django Unchained, I was sold. I have come to the conclusion that you are well on your way to becoming one of the greats if not already and show glimpses of Daniel Day Lewis and Morgan Freeman-esque type qualities of greatness. Trust me when I say that you will be one of the greatest ever.
Jennifer Beals, Serena Williams, Grae Drake, Lisa Nicole-Carson, Diana Taurasi, N’bushe Wright, Brenda Villa, Kate Winslet, Ashley Graham, Erika Christensen, Gabrielle Union, Isabella Soprano, Zain Verjee, Tamron Hall, Gina Carano, America Ferrara, Giana Michaels, Nene, Natalie Portman, Queen Latifah, Michelle Rodriguez, Anjelah Johnson, Kelly Clarkson, Nora Jones, Laura Prepon, Margaret Cho, and Rutina Wesley, you are THE MOST beautiful women on this planet, period. Never settle, professionally or personally.
Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" is the greatest piece of music ever, period. Hanz Zimmer, William Bell, Eric Clapton, BB King, Bob Marley, Sam Cooke, Metallica, Rob Zombie, Nora Jones, Marvin Gaye, Jay-Z, and the King (Louis Armstrong) are musical prodigies.
Jeffrey Toobin and David Gergen, you are political geniuses and modern scholars. Hopefully Toobin is nominated for the Supreme Court and implements some damn common sense and reasoning instead of partisan bickering. But in true Toobin fashion, we all know he would not accept the nomination.
John and Ken from KFI, never mute your facts and personal opinions. You are one of the few media personalities who speak the truth, even when the truth is not popular. I will miss listening to your discussions.
Bill Handel, your effin awesome. For years I enjoyed your show.
Anthony Bourdain, you're a modern renaissance man who epitomizes the saying "too cool for school".
Larry David, Kevin Hart, the late Patrice Oneal, Lisa Lampanelli, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, Louis CK, Dave Chapelle, Jon Stewart, Wanda Sykes, Dennis Miller, and Jeff Ross are pure geniuses. I’m a big fan of all of your work. As a child my mom caught me watching Def Jam comedy at midnight when I should have been asleep. Instead of scolding me, the next night she let me stay up late and watch George Carlin, Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor comedy specials with her for hours. My sides were sore for days.
Larry David, I agree. 72-82 degrees is way to hot in a residence. 68 degrees is perfect.
Cyclist, I have no problem sharing the road with you. But, at least go the ****ing speed limit posted or get off the road!!! That is a feasible request. Livestrong you fraudulent *****.
Cardinal Mahoney, you are in essence a predator yourself as you enabled your subordinates to molest multiple children in the church over many decades. May you die a long and slow painful death.
If you continuously followed me while I was walking at dusk/night I would confront you as well. Too bad Trayvon didn't smash your skull completely open, Zim. While Trayvon's body erodes to bones 6 feet under, Zimmerman has put on no less than 40 pounds while out on bail. Zimmerman was arrested for battery on a Peace officer and avoided jail/prison because he completed a diversion program. Thats a history of being an *****. Zimmerman couldn't get hired by a LE agency because of poor credit/and a history of violence/restraining orders with women. So what does he do? Designate himself, neighborhood watch captain and make complaints to his city council about the horrible work ethic and laziness of the officers patrolling his neighborhood. Good one Zim. How classy that your father attempts to use his veterans status "disabled veteran" during your bail hearing but doesn't state what his disability percentage is. Prior service personnel know it can be 5% disability to 100%. You and your attorneys always avoid mentioning your fathers occupation as a magistrate/judge because I'm sure he's utilized his position to get you out of way more jams then the public has discovered and that your family is not indigent. Oh, tell your wife to stop perjuring herself in court.
Anonymous, you are hated, vilified, and considered an enemy to the state. I personally view you as a culture and a necessity that brings truth to a cloaked world. Forge ahead!
Charlie Sheen, you're effin awesome.
My opinion on women in combat MOS', Designators, Rates, and AFSC's. I wish all of you who attempt to pursue combat occupational roles the greatest success in completing, graduating, and qualifying in their respective schools/courses. Many want to see you fail. Remember, everyone of you is a pioneer. There was a time when they didn't allow blacks to fight the good fight. This is your civil rights. Don't quit!!!
It's time to allow gay service member's spouses to utilize the same benefits that all heterosexual dependents are eligible for. Medical, Dental, Tricare, Deers, SGLI, BX, Commissary, Milstar, MWR, etc. Flag officers, lets be honest. You can't really give a valid argument to as why gays shouldn't be eligible as every month a new state enacts laws that allow same **noallow** marriage.
LGBT community and supporters, the same way you have the right to voice your opinion on acceptance of gay marriage, Chick Fil-A has a right to voice their beliefs as well. That's what makes America so great. Freedom of expression. Don't be ***** and boycott/degrade their business and customers who patronize the locations. They make some damn good chicken! Vandalizing (graffiti) their locations does not help any cause.
Mr. Bill Cosby, you are a reasonable and talented man who has spoken the truth of the cultural anomalies within the black communities that need to change now. The black communities' resentment toward you is because they don't like hearing the truth or having their clear and evident dirty laundry aired to the nation. The problem is, the country is not blind nor dumb. They believe we are animals. Do not mute your unvarnished truthful speech or moral compass. Blacks must strive for more in life than bling, hoes, and cars. The current culture is an epidemic that leaves them with no discernible future. They're suffocating and don't even know it. MLK Jr. Would be mortified at what he worked so hard for in our acceptance as equal beings and how unfortunately we stopped progressing and began digressing. Chicago's youth violence is a prime example of how our black communities values have declined. We can not address this nation's intolerant issues until we address our own communities morality issues first. Accountability. We need to hold ou