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Platino Brillante
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JAIME BAYLY: Cómo ganar amigos..

LE QUEDO BUENO A JAIME, DICHO SEA DE PASO FELICIDADES JAIME POR LA BEBE.../

 

 

JAIME BAYLY: Cómo ganar amigos

.Jaime Bayly

UNO. Miente. A los tontos diles que son inteligentes. A los feos diles que son lindos. Los tontos suelen creerse inteligentes. Los feos suelen verse lindos. No los confundas.

DOS. Paga la cuenta. Deja una buena propina. Sé dispendioso. Verás cómo te aparecen amigos detrás de los arbustos y los cactus.

TRES. No intentes demostrar que tienes la razón. No seas majadero. No insistas. No tienes la razón. Nadie la tiene. Si quieres tener amigos, dale siempre la razón al otro. Lo importante no es tener la razón. Lo importante es ser divertido. Solo conseguirás ser divertido si reconoces que estás equivocado.

CUATRO. No tengas ideología. No tengas religión. No tengas moral. No tengas certezas, convicciones, dogmas. Sé flexible. Haz yoga o pilates con tus principios. Acomódalos a los demás. Aprende del camaleón. Haz creer a los demás que sus convicciones son exactamente las tuyas.

CINCO. Cuidado con el espinoso asunto de la inteligencia. Digamos que la cuestión se reduce a esto: no te hagas el inteligente, no te pases de listo. Si de verdad eres inteligente, encubre tu inteligencia con pudor, escóndela como si fuera una verruga. El que hace alarde de su inteligencia irrita a los demás, pierde amigos, se queda solo. Lo inteligente, si quieres ser popular, es hacer creer a los demás que son más inteligentes que tú, que aprendes de ellos, que su presencia te ilumina y enriquece. No es tan difícil simular que eres un *******. Puede que incluso no tengas que hacer el menor esfuerzo histriónico. Puede que seas un ******* y no te hayas dado cuenta.

SEIS. No tengas éxito. Fracasa. Fracasa miserablemente. Fracasa miserablemente y admítelo. Di que eres mediocre. Di que eres infeliz. Di que eres un perdedor nato. Di que tu vida apesta. Eso te hará encantador.

SIETE. Procura no defecar en casa de tus amigos. Aguanta. Controla tus esfínteres. A nadie le gusta tener un amigo que viene a tu casa y se despacha un mojón de proporciones. Haz tus deposiciones en casa.

OCHO. Ya acabó la guerra fría. Ya terminó esa película. Ya no es los americanos contra los rusos. El mundo no es más bipolar. No tienes que estar con los americanos o con los rusos. No tienes que tomar partido. Di que no sabes, que no opinas, que dudas, que estás confundido. Aprende mandarín. Nunca es tarde. Se ve bien tener amigos chinos. Además es previsor. Pronto serán tus jefes.

NUEVE. No discutas. No seas necio. Cede. Pierde. Resígnate. Deja que el otro gane. Ahórrate la pelea. El mejor pleito no es el que se gana sino el que se evita.

DIEZ. Cállate. No opines. No digas nada. Deja que los demás hablen. Asiente en silencio, mirando el horizonte. Parecerás inteligente. Si abres la boca, romperás el hechizo.

ONCE. No aspires a nada. No trates de ser el mejor. No postules a premios. Si te conceden premios, devuélvelos. No aceptes homenajes. Rechaza toda forma de elogio o adulación. Postula sutilmente la teoría de que eres un imbécil, un candelejón, un pelafustán, y que, siendo genéticamente tan imbécil, resulta milagroso que sigas vivo.

DOCE. No hagas esfuerzo alguno por tener una buena reputación. Caerás mal. Caerás fatal. Los virtuosos carecen de amigos y llevan vidas sombrías. Aplaude a quien te insulta. Deplora a quien te elogia. Si dicen que eres buena gente, preocúpate.

TRECE. Engorda. Echa a perder tu silueta. Procura parecer una foca o un manatí. Sóbate la panza. Los gordos son naturalmente amados. Los flacos son odiados.

CATORCE. Exagera tus achaques. Di que tienes estreñimiento crónico. Di que no evacuas el vientre hace semanas. Di que tienes migrañas y jaquecas crónicas. Di que cuando vas a tener un orgasmo te sobreviene un ataque de hipo. Di que sigues orinando en la cama y duermes con pañales. Di que padeces una enfermedad terminal. De este año no pasas. Te estás muriendo. Algo te duele allí abajo. Frunce el ceño. No sonrías. Que se te vea afligido, mal.

QUINCE. No tomes decisiones. Deja que otros decidan por ti. Cuando se equivoquen, no será tu culpa. No elijas nunca la película, la fila, la butaca. Siéntate donde te indiquen.

DIECISEIS. No le digas nunca a nadie que estás enamorado. Si alguien te dice que está enamorado de ti, dile que esa enfermedad mental tiene cura y que con la ayuda de un buen siquiatra y la medicación apropiada logrará superar tan penosa aflicción.

DIECISIETE. Di que tuviste una infancia infeliz. Di que eres huérfano. Di que unos curas te violaron sistemáticamente. Di que nunca te regalaron una bicicleta. Luego llora y di que extrañas a los curas.

 

 

YO CREO QUE A JAIME SE LE OLVIDO DECIR...

18) ALGUNAS VECES HAZTE COMO SI LA COSA NO FUERA CONTIGO, HAZTE EL SORDO/A, SI ERES HOMBRE NO LE LLEVES LA CONTRARIA A LAS MUJERES., HABLA DE TELENOVELAS, CHISMES DE ARTISTAS Y AUNQUE NO ENTIENDAS NADA DE FUTBOL DI QUE SI ENTIENDES Y AGUANTA COMO VALIENTE EL PARTIDO DE FUTBOL EN LA TV , APRENDE A SONREIR COMO SI ESTUVIERAS DEACUARDO CON LOS DEMAS ,AUNQUE NO LO ESTES, IMAGINA QUE LO ESTAS. HABLA LO MENOS QUE PUEDAS CUNADO ESTAS EN DESACUAERDO, CUENTA HASTA DIEZ ANTES DE DECIR ALGO CUANDO ESTAS MOLESTO/A O TE INCOMODA ALGO, NUNCA TE ENVUELVAS EN CUESTIIONES ECONOMICAS O NEGOCIOS CON AMIGOS , DONDE SEAN CONSERVADORES SE CONSERVADOR, DONDE SEAN LIBERALES SE LIBERAL, DONDE SEAN RELIGIOSOS SE RELIGIOSO, DONDE NO SEAN RELIGIOSOS NO SEAS RELIGIOSOS...FELICES AMIGOS....JAJAJA!!!

Diamante
siboneyes
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Re: JAIME BAYLY: Cómo ganar amigos..

 "Empty Suit 2012 - Barack Obama"...
Iowa Presidential Watch ^
| 4-3-2011 | IPWGOP

 

 

 

QUOTE OF THE CENTURY, MAYBE EVEN THE MILLENNIUM
 
Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way you can understand them, like this quote from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it figured out - we have a lot of work to do.
“The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.  The Republic can survive a Barack Obama who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."


My other personal concern is the evil entities behind the fool.

Retirado
sirjohn
Mensajes: 137,146
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Re: JAIME BAYLY: Cómo ganar amigos..

OBAMA'S TAX HYPOCRISY

Townhall.com ^ | April 19, 2011 | Lurita Doan

 

Some 41 different Senior Obama Administration Officials have been identified as tax cheats, owing over $840 million in back taxes.

 

    The Obama Administration’s call for greater taxes and “shared sacrifice” is hollow and morally bankrupt. President Obama wants to convince the nation that many Americans, most of them small business owners, must pay more tax as “their fair share” of huge, annual deficits.

    What Mr. Obama never mentions is that he has surrounded himself with key advisors and selected key members of his Administration that are tax cheats. Never before has an Administration been so wholly composed of senior officials that push so stridently for increasing taxes on Americans, while they avoid any personal responsibility for paying their own personal taxes.

    Seemingly, if you are a member of the Obama Administration, your “fair share” of the national tax burden is zero. Instead, taxes are an instrument of “shared sacrifice” to be loaded onto someone else.

     First some numbers. Some 41 different Senior Obama Administration Officials have been identified as tax cheats, owing over $840 million in back taxes. Many of Obama’s key officials that are responsible for the economy and have been given wide powers in tax policy are themselves, tax cheats and tax avoiders.

    The most notable of these is Timmy Geithner, Secretary of the Treasury and nominal head of the IRS, who utilized the “INTUIT TurboTax-is-not intuitive-I didn’t-realize-I was-supposed-to-pay-taxes” defense. Once exposed, Obama dismissed Geithner’s tax cheating, and had no problem with him heading the Treasury/IRS. In fact, Mr. Obama continued to stock his Administration with tax cheats and tax avoiders, seeing no contradiction in a advocating policies that call for ever greater taxes on other Americans, while so many of his own cabinet and key economic advisors have failed to pay.

     Hilda Solis, Secretary of Labor, used the “I’m-just-a-wife-how-can-I-be-held-responsible-for -knowing-what-my-husband-is-doing” defense, and after paying back taxes on the few years for which they were fingered, now heads the team shaping Obama’s labor taxes policies. Ron Kirk, Obama’s Trade representative, had tax problems, as did Kathleen Sibelius, current HHS Secretary, who leads the push for the Obamacare atrocity, and unabashedly calls for greater taxes and burdens on honest Americans to fund the dodgy scheme.

    There are also tax problems with the appointees at levels below the cabinet, such as Capricia Marshall (Chief of Protocol), with the “post-office-ate-my-tax return” defense or Lael Brainerd (Treasury Undersecretary). In addition to the individual tax cheats currently serving in the Obama administration, there have been a startling number of nominees who have withdrawn their nomination after being publicly exposed as having tax and other issues. A quick review includes Tom Daschle (HHS Nominee), Nancy Killefer (OMB nominee), Bill Richardson, and Caroline Atkinson (Treasury-International Affairs), just to name a few.

    Some of the Obama appointees’ tax problems may not have been as despicable as others, but just look at the number of them. Has any previous Administration been so infested with tax cheats? Nor does President Obama seem to think tax cheating and tax avoidance are detriments to public service for he continues to select nominees that are similarly “tax challenged”.

    Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of General Electric was selected by Obama to lead his Counsel on Jobs and Competitiveness this past January. Immelt has boasted of GE’s staggering $14.2 billion in profits and that it paid no taxes. Yet, Immelt feels right at home pushing the Obama line that other Americans need to pay more in taxes to fund the bloated government that Obama has added.

    The Obama Administration seems to be filled with so many tax cheats and tax avoiders that it has surrendered any credibility on the issue of increasing taxes. President Obama remains undeterred by the poor example set by his own Administration and brazenly announced that “we are beginning to crack down on Americans who are bending or breaking the rules, and we're helping to ensure that all Americans are contributing their fair share—and not let some citizens and businesses dodge their tax responsibility, while ordinary Americans pick up the slack.”

      Fine words, but what the President did not mention is that his Administration sets a terrible example and is most in need of a “crack down”. Indeed, recent reports estimate the full amount of taxes owed by all members of the Obama Administration is over $3 billion.

      Americans are saddled with the sad example of a President that seems to feel no reluctance in calling on others to pay more taxes, even as his own Administration is increasingly composed of tax cheats. Nor is the President deterred in the use of increasingly hostile rhetoric used to describe honest opponents (most of whom do pay their annual taxes), questioning their patriotism, fairness, and compassion.

     Obama’s tax policy seems aimed at protecting his own loyalists and pushing responsibility for taxes onto others. One thing is clear: Obama can always count on folks who don’t pay their taxes to support higher taxes for others because it sure seems they know they won’t have to pay. If Obama wants to restore his credibility in the debate on taxes, he should first get rid of the many close advisors that have cheated on their taxes, and require all those serving in his Administration to pay what they owe.

    Until he does so, the strange and tortured logic that President Obama uses to push for other Americans to pay “their fair share” must be rejected. Put simply, the Obama Administration has no credibility to talk about tax policy, much less make any moral argument about who should be paying more.

 

 MY PERSONAL THANKS TO ALL TAXPAYERS

This is the heartless mechanism of “simulated affect”. It lies at the core of the narcissist’s inability to empathise with his fellow human beings.

 

 


 

Dear American Taxpayer:

    For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain . My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.   

      Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500.00 per night suite at a 5-Star luxury hotel. Thank you also for the use of Air Force 2 and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times.

     Air Force 2 only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.

     I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. I do appreciate your sacrifice and do hope you find work soon. I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days!

      Cordially,

 

 

Michelle Obama

 

 

 

 

P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION trip to India we recently took. 
     We also had a great, great time in Hawaii...at the $9000 per night rent, it was cozy.
     Poor Barack has been too busy with all the international problems and planning for the 2012 elections and the need to raise another billion dollars for the campaign, he hasn't had enough time to play golf as he likes, and we even had to cut short our trip to South America !!!
    Our job is actually much harder than many people think.

 

 

 

 

QUOTE OF THE CENTURY, MAYBE EVEN THE MILLENNIUM
 Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way you can understand them, like this quote from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it figured out - we have a lot of work to do.
“The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.  The Republic can survive a Barack Obama who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."

 

My other personal concern is the evil entities behind